I keep it to myself.

As an individual, I want religion to be separate from the state, and from the workplace. I don’t want to be proselytized to while at work, and so I would not treat anyone else in a similar manner. I have kept my eyes open, however- when a coworker is allowed to display their own religious paraphernalia, I’ll be ready with a counter weight.

As I clasp hands with my family members at the dinner table, I am sure to turn my left palm up and my right palm down. As my uncle says grace, with his crucifix necklace made of sixpenny nails and his gun jammed in his belt, I feel my treasured Baphomet necklace under my tastefully midwestern sweater, resting warm on my skin. I keep my head raised and my eyes open, for I am no sheep in a flock.

Am I cowardly, for not shouting them all down and leaving the restaurant? Maybe I am. But I know my own strengths, and that is not the way they are best put to use. Certainly I have apprehension about making myself known, because I know how quickly people desire to misunderstand. Whether or not I am “out” or vocal, I will hold true to the values and principles that I hold within my heart.

I feel a wicked type of pleasure in keeping my Satanism a secret. But I do feel one’s religion should be a private matter again, as it was generations ago. Nowadays we have forums and social media, where we can find like minded people and have community and discussion. I could be part of any hidden online forum I want and no one need know. After all, the Illuminati have managed to keep their secrets well hidden, until they come to you wanting to share the good word, like the Mormons of the dark web.

If I am to reveal myself, I would love for it to happen organically. Over time, I will have been this thing all along, and the person they know me to be will prevail over the leap to misapprehension. There is value in waiting for the right opportunity, and to allow others to come to know me as a person long before they slap me with a soup can label. One clear aspect of being a Satanist is using one’s appearance or aesthetic to one’s advantage. And as my coworkers wish me a merry christmas, I don’t take offense. I know what I look like.

I am no different from many other Satanists in regards to the use of aesthetic. I’m simply taking it the other direction. The difference becomes this: I could confidently stroll into any church around, and no one would know my heart. Subtlety in Satanism will have its uses, this I do not doubt. Guard your hearts this season, friends. This is a difficult time for most of us, for so many different reasons. If you are part of a community, remain engaged with them; if you need support or someone to talk to, do not allow pride to keep you from reaching out. I plan to make it a priority to stay engaged, because I know the good it will do me.

Live Deliciously this season, I wish you Love & Light, and like-minded company.


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